HPV and herpes: the difference, and dating with either

The difference

HPV (human papillomavirus) and HSV (herpes simplex virus) are unrelated, and a positive result for one tells you nothing about the other. Both pass through sexual contact, and both can pass when the person carrying them has no symptoms. The biggest practical difference is time: herpes is permanent and managed, while HPV is usually cleared by your immune system. The table sets the two side by side, using only what the CDC and MedlinePlus state.

Genital warts or herpes?

Genital warts come from certain types of HPV, not from herpes. The CDC describes them this way: Genital warts usually appear as a small bump or group of bumps in the genital area. They can be small or large, raised or flat, or shaped like a cauliflower. It also says The types of HPV that cause warts do not cause cancer. and A healthcare provider can usually diagnose genital warts by looking at them.

Herpes is a different virus, so a bump and a sore are worth showing to a provider rather than sorting out at home. For what a herpes outbreak looks like and when a swab can confirm it, see the guide to testing after exposure. The guide to spread without symptoms covers what herpes does between outbreaks.

Can you get HPV from kissing?

Yes, but by a narrower route than the question implies. MedlinePlus, updated September 17, 2024, says: Oral HPV is thought to spread mainly through oral sex and deep tongue kissing. Deep tongue kissing is named; a quick kiss on the lips is not. Oral sex is the other named route, and the CDC lists it alongside vaginal and anal sex.

The same MedlinePlus page adds: Most oral HPV infections go away on their own without treatment within 2 years and do not cause any health problems. If one kiss is what you're worried about, oral HPV is possible after deep kissing, and it usually clears on its own. Herpes works differently here, because kissing is the main way oral HSV-1 spreads; the herpes and kissing guide covers that.

How common HPV is

The CDC's STI page opens with it: HPV is the most common STI. Its HPV overview, dated July 3, 2024, adds: More than 42 million Americans are infected with types of HPV that are known to cause disease. and About 13 million Americans, including teens, become infected each year.

The National Cancer Institute goes further: Nearly all sexually active people are infected with HPV within months to a few years of becoming sexually active. For comparison, the WHO estimates 13% of people aged 15 to 49 had genital HSV-2 in 2020, and 64% of people under 50 carry HSV-1. Put side by side, the numbers say an HPV result puts you with most sexually active adults. Follow it up with your clinician the way you would any common result.

Does HPV go away?

Usually, yes. The CDC says: In most cases (9 out of 10), HPV goes away on its own within two years without health problems. That is the reverse of herpes, which does not clear and is managed with antivirals and timing. It also means a past HPV result may not describe what you carry today.

The cases that don't clear are the ones that need follow-up. This page does not cover cancer risk or vaccines, so ask your clinician what your specific result and type mean for you.

Dating and telling a partner with HPV

Telling a partner about HPV is a different conversation from telling them about herpes. HPV usually clears, and for many people there is no routine test. The CDC says: HPV tests are not recommended to screen men, adolescents, or women under the age of 30 years. A partner who has never been told they have HPV cannot assume they don't.

Proportionate honesty works better than a confession. Say what you know: you had an HPV result, and most HPV clears on its own. If condoms come up, the NCI puts it carefully: Correctly using condoms can lower the chance of HPV transmission, but does not prevent it completely.

If you want wording, the script builder helps you draft a short version, and the first disclosure guide covers timing. You can't decide how a partner reacts. You can decide to say it clearly, before sex.

If you have both

Having both is common, simply because both viruses are common. Herpes is the one that shapes the conversation, since it doesn't clear and the steps that lower the risk to a partner are specific to it. Treat the HPV as a line in that conversation rather than a second confession.

Start with the dating after diagnosis guide for the herpes side, and the transmission guide for the numbers on protecting a partner.